“That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end.”
Depression looks different for each person but it is more than feeling low every now and then. It’s experiencing an ongoing negative mood, felt more often than not for weeks, months or even years. It can make you feel hopeless, relentless, terrifying and lonely.
It is hard to fully describe with words alone because it’s a feeling.
A heavy feeling in your stomach that can’t always be shifted. Or it’s a numbness, a not feeling anything at all.
It’s crying easily when something goes wrong or you feel let down. Or you can’t ‘feel’ emotions like you used to, you can’t ‘feel’ love for your partner or children.
It’s a persistent voice inside of your head that says “you’re not good enough” “you’re a failure” and it’s so much more.
You don’t want to eat, or you’re eating too much.
It can be avoiding the people who you used to enjoyed spending time with.
“When you’re surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you’re by yourself. You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don’t feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you’re really alone.” Fiona Apple
It’s losing a sense of who you are and what makes life enjoyable.
It’s a dark cloud that follows you around, keeping the light from reaching you.
How I work with people experiencing depression
When I work with people experiencing depression, we explore it in words, feelings, bodily sensations and colours.
We talk to depression, we hear what it has to say.
Sometimes a shift can begin to occur once depression is seen, heard and felt out-loud.
Depression can be triggered by life events, such as bereavement, relationship breakdown, bullying or abuse.
The trigger could have happened in the past so depression can feel very confusing and you may feel that you are helpless to ever feel any different.
Depression can feel powerful, with you feeling powerless.
Work with me and I will be there to support you and to help hold the experience.
I will work to meet you in your experience, to find out what it feels like to be you.
More importantly, throughout it all, I will hold the hope.